Self control and a successful life

We had a physical training teacher- Jal Padiwala- in my high school- St Mary's in Bombay almost fifty years ago who insisted that after every assembly, we kept still - absolutely still- for two minutes. Imagine if you can having a thousand restive schoolkids trying desperately not to fidget or move or even turn their head around. Mr Padiwala was very strict and a stick was never far behind if you erred. He even called this "self control"!  It is only now that research is showing the merits of Padiwala's "self control" excerscises!

Ever since Adam and Eve ate the apple, Ulysses had himself tied to the mast, the grasshopper sang while the ant stored food and St. Augustine prayed “Lord make me chaste — but not yet,” individuals have struggled with self-control. Yet what is this mysterious thing called self-control? When we fight an urge, it feels like a strenuous effort, as if there were a homunculus in the head that physically impinged on a persistent antagonist. We speak of exerting will power, of forcing ourselves to go to work, of restraining ourselves and of controlling our temper, as if it were an unruly dog.


But it was only after some experiments, beginning in the late 1960s,  by the psychologist Walter Mischel that the link between self control and future performance were demonstrated. Miscel tested preschoolers with the agonizing choice of one marshmallow now or two marshmallows 15 minutes from now. When he followed up decades later, he found that the 4-year-olds who waited for two marshmallows rather than gobble the one marshmallow, turned into adults who were better adjusted, were less likely to abuse drugs, had higher self-esteem, had better relationships, were better at handling stress, obtained higher degrees and earned more money.


Together with intelligence, self-control, it seems, turns out to be the best predictor of a successful and satisfying life.

But self control is a tiring effort and difficult to maintain for long periods of time. In experiments, first reported in 1998, Baumeister and his collaborators discovered that the will, like a muscle, can be fatigued. In their tests, immediately after students engaged in a task that required them to control their urges— resisting cookies while hungry — they showed lapses in a subsequent task that also requires an exercise of willpower, like solving difficult puzzles. Baumeister tagged the effect “ego depletion,” using Freud’s sense of “ego” as the mental entity that controls the passions. He then pushed the muscle metaphor even further by showing that a depleted ego can be invigorated by a sugary pick-me-up. 

And he showed that self-control, though almost certainly heritable in part, can be toned up by exercising it. He enrolled students in regimens that required them to keep track of their eating, exercise regularly, speak in complete sentences and without swearing. After several weeks, these students were more resistant to ego depletion in the lab and showed greater self-control in their lives. They smoked, drank and snacked less, watched less television, studied more and washed more dishes.

So you need to build up your self control with small but regular exercises, like tidiness and good posture. And keeping absolutely still for two minutes after every assembly! 


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WILLPOWER

Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength

By Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney