Mothers and sons

In a strange, faraway country, each boy believes that his mother is a virgin,
and each mother believes that her son is God.

In many eastern cultures, a woman is expected to depend on her father till she is married, her husband till she is a widow and her son till she dies. This dependence has a price. But the most interesting of these relationships is the one between a mother and her son.

Teenage behavior helps parents to cut themselves loose from their children: as your children love you less, they, rather helpfully, become less lovely. But not for mothers. They continue to believe that their son is a work in progress and is well on its way to perfection just give her enough time! She wants her son to find the right girl- usually one who closely resembles her and settle down. From his birth, her son is her major lifetime project. However, when it does happen, and another woman displaces her in her sons life, she feels adrift and with no major project in mind.

All mothers feel the pain of no longer being needed, but wont admit to it. They may passionately want their son to find the right woman, but when it happens, the mother often feels that she is cast aside. Perhaps it does all come down to Oedipus after all: the mother-son relationship is a deep and intense one during childhood, but, unlike the mother-daughter bond, a specific rupture has to be made before the child can be fully adult.

Thus the most delicate aspect of mother and son relationship comes, when another woman enters into his life, either as a girlfriend or as a wife. This is the time, when almost every mother starts feeling insecure and becomes apprehensive. From being the only woman in her son's life, she has to share the affection with someone, who is as important in her son's life as she is.

There is an irony in all this, of course. That the pressure to disavow our mothers might come not from fellow men, but from women – the very women who are theoretically sizing us up as the person who might, ultimately, turn them into a mother – is curious to say the least. Are men, perhaps, merely the intermediaries in an intergenerational rivalry between women?

A mother and son relationship is a very unique one. Boys generally look up to their fathers or a father-figure for how to interact with others, show affection towards others, and respond to different situations. But the mother, on the other hand, has a chance to show her son how a girl wants to be treated and how he should expect to be treated by the opposite sex. But men don’t look cool talking about their mothers since other women – with good reason – run a mile from a man who loves his mother too much. However wonderful and adorable a man’s mother is, the slightest mention of this fact makes him look as if he has not quite grown up and, therefore, is deeply unattractive. . A woman who reveres her parents will make a different impression. Daddy’s girl has a better connotation than a Mama’s boy. Does it not?

It is not easy for the son to make his mother understand that she has and will always be the most special person in his life but that now that there is another woman in his life. While this new person- his wife- can never take her place, there is a change. On the other hand, a mother should also understand that she has to stop holding on to her son all the time and let go of him. If he is not careful, he can sometimes end up living with two mothers- his wife and his mother. One does not want to be his mother, the other refuses to let him be any thing else but her son. Therein lies his dilemma. Whom should he please?