Lately I have been in grip of periods of sadness. I don't know where it comes from. Or even what triggers these bouts of infinite sadness? It may be a harsh word, a careless remark or it may be a tragedy a million miles away. Any loss can trigger sadness -- it might even accompany a beautiful sunset that signals the end of the day. We might not always know what makes us feel sad -- it could be a shift in our body chemistry with its changing hormones, blood sugar levels, etc. Or it could be a feeling that life is rushing by leaving you only as a helpless onlooker. But these bouts of sadness do occur.
You may awake " each morning with the desire to do right, to be a good and meaningful person, to be, as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it actually was, happy." But during the course of each day your heart would descend from the chest into the stomach. By early afternoon you maybe overcome by the feeling that nothing was right and by the desire to be alone. By evening you maybe fulfilled: alone in the magnitude of your grief, alone in this aimless guilt, alone even in your loneliness. I am not sad, you could repeat to yourself over and over, I am not sad. As if you might one day convince your self. Or convince others--the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad. I am not sad. I am not sad. "Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, insofar as it was an empty white room. He would fall asleep with his heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was no part of him at all. And each morning he would wake with it again in the cupboard of his rib cage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping. And by the midafternoon he was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else. I am not sad.” writes Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated
But these feelings of sadness do periodically engulf one till you make an effort to break through. “Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not said Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
Oftentimes all it needs is a period of silent contemplation. Sitting on my terrace looking at the fiery red sunsets in the west, the sounds of whirring medical helicopters on way to the nearest hospital. Just sitting at peace with the world forgetting the painful past and refusing to muse on the future. Just sitting quietly in the present till sadness slowly dissolves and so that I can think of the good fortune god has seen fit to bestow on me.
In addition to accepting our sadness as a normal part of life, and allowing it to be present, there are some other ways we can help ourselves through sad times
You may awake " each morning with the desire to do right, to be a good and meaningful person, to be, as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it actually was, happy." But during the course of each day your heart would descend from the chest into the stomach. By early afternoon you maybe overcome by the feeling that nothing was right and by the desire to be alone. By evening you maybe fulfilled: alone in the magnitude of your grief, alone in this aimless guilt, alone even in your loneliness. I am not sad, you could repeat to yourself over and over, I am not sad. As if you might one day convince your self. Or convince others--the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad. I am not sad. I am not sad. "Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, insofar as it was an empty white room. He would fall asleep with his heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was no part of him at all. And each morning he would wake with it again in the cupboard of his rib cage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping. And by the midafternoon he was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else. I am not sad.” writes Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated
But these feelings of sadness do periodically engulf one till you make an effort to break through. “Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not said Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
Oftentimes all it needs is a period of silent contemplation. Sitting on my terrace looking at the fiery red sunsets in the west, the sounds of whirring medical helicopters on way to the nearest hospital. Just sitting at peace with the world forgetting the painful past and refusing to muse on the future. Just sitting quietly in the present till sadness slowly dissolves and so that I can think of the good fortune god has seen fit to bestow on me.
No one ever has a problem dealing with happiness or feeling good. When joy comes into our life we experience it freely, but when sadness or grief is present, we often struggle with them. We live in a culture that tells us to "put on a happy face," and this can make it very difficult to be comfortable with sadness. Yet sadness and grief are a normal part of everyone's life. Whether they are caused by a major loss such as the death of a loved one, or smaller everyday setbacks, we can learn to live with them with greater ease.
Not only can we become more at ease with these feelings, it is indeed vital to our health and well-being that we handle grief and sadness in a healthy way. For a healthy emotional life, we need to honor all of our emotions and allow them room for expression. When sadness comes, we need to allow ourselves to feel it fully. It helps to understand that it is a normal, natural reaction to loss, and not an indication that there is something wrong with us.
In addition to accepting our sadness as a normal part of life, and allowing it to be present, there are some other ways we can help ourselves through sad times
1. Share what you are feeling with a trusted friend or family member, in particular someone who can listen without judging us or trying to change you. The simple experience of being "accompanied" with your feelings can be comforting.
2. Take time to do something that is nourishing and soothing to you. Take a leisurely walk, get a massage, curl up with a good book, do gardening or other favorite hobby.
3. Find a way to slow down and relax. This will allow the feelings to be released. Meditate, listen to some relaxing music, do some simple stretches.
4. Write in a journal or diary. When we do this, it feels as if we have an ideal listener with whom we can confide. Expressing and exploring your feelings in this way can bring perspective and comfort.
5. Learn to be your own best friend. Step back and view yourself with compassion and love. Notice if you are judging yourself harshly ("you should be over this by now"), and find sympathy for yourself instead.
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