I have now written four books and survived the editors scissors. The fact is that despite the fond thanks in the acknowledgements of most books, the relationship of a writer to his editor is at best described as adversarial during the writing of the book. For editors are like that cold hearted sniper who finds any hair out of place to be unacceptable and is sharp eyed enough to spot even the minutest of details being out of place.
My relationship with my editor is even more complicated because my wife is my editor. And a colder more precise person as an editor you would have difficulty in meeting. During the writing of the book the state of affairs can at best be described as a state of cold war as writer Angela Scott points out.
For example she will take my detailed paragraph and witty words and chops them down into one or two sentences that say the exact same thing, but with less words. In the margins she will write WORDINESS. What the....? HELLO? I'm a author, I write with WORDS. Lots of them. I love words. I'm a lover not a hater. But editors? Nope, they're not lovers at all.I can't even imagine it being so (yuck).
So here is a list of things I find editors hate (what I've seen first hand and what I've been told):
1) The word "I" in a first person POV story. Two many "I's" close together and WHACK! You will get your ego slapped. So how in the heck do you write in first person and not use I so much? Good question. Rule: try and make the object of the sentence the subject. This is what I've been told. I still don't execute it very well.
2) Narrative that breaks up action. They will delete it, toss it out, and then tell you to knock it off.
3) Puppies. I'm pretty sure they hate all kinds of baby animals.
4) Excessive use of dialogue tags, (said, asked, demanded, spoke, explained). They HATE those. So use them sparingly or your editor will grow horns and beat you with a pitchfork. No joke.
5) State of being verbs, otherwise known as SOB verbs (makes me laugh every time I type SOB). SOB verbs like am, is, was, are--editors will kill you. Maybe not literally, but you will feel like you've died a little inside when they get through with you.
6) Show don't tell. That's a given. But sometimes, as a writer, it's hard to recognize when you're doing it. But boy...the angry eyes your editor will give you when you make the mistake of telling *shivers*
7) Monotonous sentence structure. Whether it's long sentences or short sentences. They'll make you mix it up. They will chop and they will add (all suggestions, of course. But those suggestions will be AWESOME. Darn them).
8) One editor I know foams at the mouth when you use the word "titter". So don't do that. Foaming at the mouth is a bad thing. And forget using the word "suddenly." You will get a backhanded slap for that one (I never use that word because I'm not a fan of pain. I learned my lesson).
9) Words. They hate words. "Simplify it stupid." Okay, they don't say that, but when you see how they took your mega long paragraph and shortened it into two sentences that pretty much said the same thing, it's what you'll be thinking. Editors are subtle that way.
10) "Blinking with her eyes" or "Pointed with her finger" or "Nodded with her head" OHHHHHH, they HATE that! What else are they going to blink with, their ears? Editors think they're funny when they say this, but they're not. Editors aren't funny people. Not really. But they know how to make people cry really well.
And did I forget unicorns. They hate unicorns. Or anything else magical for that matter. Of this, I'm pretty sure.
In all seriousness, though, I wouldn't give up ANY of my editors especially my wife. They may be haters, but I know it's all for my benefit. They might not like the way in which I wrote something, and they might not like my excessive use of words, but they LOVE me! Because they love me, they want me to present the best work I can so that I can succeed. THAT'S what a great editor does.
My editors are truly amazing people, really they are. They sacrifice and work so hard on my behalf and for that I am ever so grateful. They help me to write in the way I had always hoped to write. I've learned more about the art of writing from them than from any teacher, professor, or writing instructor. And even though I'm a slow learner, they hang in there and encourage me onward.
If you find the right editor, you will totally feel the same. I guarantee it.
My relationship with my editor is even more complicated because my wife is my editor. And a colder more precise person as an editor you would have difficulty in meeting. During the writing of the book the state of affairs can at best be described as a state of cold war as writer Angela Scott points out.
But I love my editor, I do, I do.
The problem is that editors, as a whole (oh, yeah, I'm lumping them all in
there together) really don't like much of anything. Okay, maybe that's not
entirely true. I do believe they ALL love well written prose and perfectly
manicured manuscripts--but come on! How many of those even exist? Seriously.
That's just unrealistic and quite unfair to us little guys who THINK
we're doing a pretty good job at this writing gig. But I guess that is the job
of the editor--to hate (the whole bunch of haters). Oh, and editors love
booze (yep, all of them. There I go again, lumping them together). So
booze and perfectly manicured manuscripts. That's about it.
For example she will take my detailed paragraph and witty words and chops them down into one or two sentences that say the exact same thing, but with less words. In the margins she will write WORDINESS. What the....? HELLO? I'm a author, I write with WORDS. Lots of them. I love words. I'm a lover not a hater. But editors? Nope, they're not lovers at all.I can't even imagine it being so (yuck).
So here is a list of things I find editors hate (what I've seen first hand and what I've been told):
1) The word "I" in a first person POV story. Two many "I's" close together and WHACK! You will get your ego slapped. So how in the heck do you write in first person and not use I so much? Good question. Rule: try and make the object of the sentence the subject. This is what I've been told. I still don't execute it very well.
2) Narrative that breaks up action. They will delete it, toss it out, and then tell you to knock it off.
3) Puppies. I'm pretty sure they hate all kinds of baby animals.
4) Excessive use of dialogue tags, (said, asked, demanded, spoke, explained). They HATE those. So use them sparingly or your editor will grow horns and beat you with a pitchfork. No joke.
5) State of being verbs, otherwise known as SOB verbs (makes me laugh every time I type SOB). SOB verbs like am, is, was, are--editors will kill you. Maybe not literally, but you will feel like you've died a little inside when they get through with you.
6) Show don't tell. That's a given. But sometimes, as a writer, it's hard to recognize when you're doing it. But boy...the angry eyes your editor will give you when you make the mistake of telling *shivers*
7) Monotonous sentence structure. Whether it's long sentences or short sentences. They'll make you mix it up. They will chop and they will add (all suggestions, of course. But those suggestions will be AWESOME. Darn them).
8) One editor I know foams at the mouth when you use the word "titter". So don't do that. Foaming at the mouth is a bad thing. And forget using the word "suddenly." You will get a backhanded slap for that one (I never use that word because I'm not a fan of pain. I learned my lesson).
9) Words. They hate words. "Simplify it stupid." Okay, they don't say that, but when you see how they took your mega long paragraph and shortened it into two sentences that pretty much said the same thing, it's what you'll be thinking. Editors are subtle that way.
10) "Blinking with her eyes" or "Pointed with her finger" or "Nodded with her head" OHHHHHH, they HATE that! What else are they going to blink with, their ears? Editors think they're funny when they say this, but they're not. Editors aren't funny people. Not really. But they know how to make people cry really well.
And did I forget unicorns. They hate unicorns. Or anything else magical for that matter. Of this, I'm pretty sure.
In all seriousness, though, I wouldn't give up ANY of my editors especially my wife. They may be haters, but I know it's all for my benefit. They might not like the way in which I wrote something, and they might not like my excessive use of words, but they LOVE me! Because they love me, they want me to present the best work I can so that I can succeed. THAT'S what a great editor does.
My editors are truly amazing people, really they are. They sacrifice and work so hard on my behalf and for that I am ever so grateful. They help me to write in the way I had always hoped to write. I've learned more about the art of writing from them than from any teacher, professor, or writing instructor. And even though I'm a slow learner, they hang in there and encourage me onward.
If you find the right editor, you will totally feel the same. I guarantee it.
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