In the modern world, the idea of trying to be a ‘good person’ conjures up all sorts of negative associations: of piety, solemnity, bloodlessness and sexual renunciation, as if goodness were something one would try to embrace only when other more difficult but more fulfilling avenues had been exhausted.
From times immemorial, all cultures have tried to define the virtues that one must try and attain in their lifetime. The Greeks and the Buddhists have always had a set of virtues they lived by. But now Alain de Bottom proposes a new set of virtues for the modern age.
From times immemorial, all cultures have tried to define the virtues that one must try and attain in their lifetime. The Greeks and the Buddhists have always had a set of virtues they lived by. But now Alain de Bottom proposes a new set of virtues for the modern age.
"Throughout history, societies have been interested in fostering virtues, in training us to be more virtuous," he says, " but we're one of the first generations to have zero public interest in this. You're allowed to work on your body (going to the gym has very high status as an activity), but announce that you're going to work on being more virtuous, and people will be guaranteed to look at you as if you're insane."
There's no scientific answer to being virtuous, but the key thing is to have some kind of list on which to flex our ethical muscles. It reminds us that we all need to work at being good, just as we work at anything else that really matters.
Ten Virtues for the Modern Age according to Bottom:
1. Resilience. Keeping going even when things are looking dark; accepting that reversals are normal; remembering that human nature is, in the end, tough. Not frightening others with your fears.
2. Empathy. The capacity to connect imaginatively with the sufferings and unique experiences of another person. The courage to become someone else and look back at yourself with honesty.
3. Patience. We lose our temper because we believe that things should be perfect. We've grown so good in some areas (putting men on the moon etc.), we're ever less able to deal with things that still insist on going wrong; like traffic, government, other people... We should grow calmer and more forgiving by getting more realistic about how things actually tend to go.
4. Sacrifice. We’re hardwired to seek our own advantage but also have a miraculous ability, very occasionally, to forego our own satisfactions in the name of someone or something else. We won't ever manage to raise a family, love someone else or save the planet if we don't keep up with the art of sacrifice.
5. Politeness. Politeness has a bad name. We often assume it's about being 'fake' (which is meant to be bad) as opposed to 'really ourselves' (which is meant to be good). However, given what we're really like deep down, we should spare others too much exposure to our deeper selves. We need to learn manners, which aren’t evil - they are the necessary internal rules of civilisation. Politeness is very linked to tolerance, the capacity to live alongside people whom one will never agree with, but at the same time, can’t avoid.
6. Humour. Seeing the funny sides of situations and of oneself doesn't sound very serious, but it is integral to wisdom, because it's a sign that one is able to put a benevolent finger on the gap between what we want to happen and what life can actually provide; what we dream of being and what we actually are, what we hope other people will be like and what they are actually like. Like anger, humour springs from disappointment, but it's disappointment optimally channelled. It's one of the best things we can do with our sadness.
7. Self-awareness. To know oneself is to try not to blame others for one's troubles and moods; to have a sense of what's going on inside oneself, and what actually belongs to the world.
8. Forgiveness. Forgiveness means a long memory of all the times when we wouldn't have got through life without someone cutting us some slack. It's recognising that living with others isn't possible without excusing errors.
9. Hope. The way the world is now is only a pale shadow of what it could one day be. We're still only at the beginning of history. As you get older, despair becomes far easier, almost reflex (whereas in adolescence, it was still cool and adventurous). Pessimism isn't necessarily deep, nor optimism shallow.
10. Confidence. The greatest projects and schemes die for no grander reasons than that we don't dare. Confidence isn't arrogance, it's based on a constant awareness of how short life is and how little we ultimately lose from risking everything.
Let us go back and look at what the ancients have to say on this as well.
others. Wisdom is good judgment. It enables us to make reasoned decisions that are both good for us
and good for others. Wisdom tells us how to put the other virtues into practice—when to act, how to
act, and how to balance different virtues when they conflict (as they do, for example, when telling the
honest truth might hurt someone’s feelings). Wisdom enables us to discern correctly, to see what is
truly important in life, and to set priorities. As the ethicist Richard Gula points out, “We cannot do right
unless we first see correctly.”
The second virtue named by the Greeks is justice. Justice means respecting the rights of all
persons. Since we are persons ourselves, justice also includes self-respect, a proper regard for our
own rights and dignity. Schools, in their character education efforts, often center on justice because it
includes so many of the interpersonal virtues—civility, honesty, respect, responsibility, and tolerance
(correctly understood not as approval of other people’s beliefs or behaviors but as respect for their
freedom of conscience as long as they do not violate the rights of others). A concern for justice—and
the capacity for moral indignation in the face of injustice—inspires us to work as citizens to build a more
just society and world.
A third, much-neglected virtue is fortitude. Fortitude enables us to do what is right in the face
of difficulty. The right decision in life is often the hard one. One high school captures that truth in its
motto: “Do the hard right instead of the easy wrong.” A familiar maxim says, “When the going gets
tough, the tough get going.” Fortitude, as the educator James Stenson points out, is the inner
toughness that enables us to overcome or withstand hardship, defeats, inconvenience, and pain.
Courage, resilience, patience, perseverance, endurance, and a healthy self-confidence are all aspects
of fortitude.
The fourth virtue named by the Greeks is self-control (which they called “temperance”). Selfcontrol is the ability to govern ourselves. It enables us to control our temper, regulate our sensual
appetites and passions, and pursue even legitimate pleasures in moderation. It’s the power to resist
temptation. It enables us to wait—and to delay gratification in the service of higher and distant goals.
An old saying recognizes the importance of self-control in the moral life: “Either we rule our desires, or
our desires rule us.” Reckless, self-destructive, and criminal behaviors flourish in the absence of selfcontrol.
A fifth essential virtue is love. Love goes beyond justice; it gives more than fairness requires. Love is the willingness to sacrifice for the sake of another. A whole cluster of important human virtues—empathy, compassion, kindness, generosity, service, loyalty, patriotism (love of what is noble in one’s country), and
forgiveness—make up the virtue of love. In his book With Love and Prayers, F. Washington Jarvis
writes: “Love—selfless love that expects nothing back—is the most powerful force in the universe. Its
impact on both the giver and the receiver is incalculable.” Love is a demanding virtue. If we really took
seriously the familiar injunction to “love your neighbor as yourself,” says an essay on this virtue, would
we not make every effort to avoid gossiping about others and calling attention to their faults, given how
sensitive we are to such things said about us?
A positive attitude is a sixth essential virtue. If you have a negative attitude in life, you’re a
burden to yourself and others. If you have a positive attitude, you’re an asset to yourself and others.
The character strengths of hope, enthusiasm, flexibility, and a sense of humor are all part of a positive
attitude. All of us, young and old, need to be reminded that our attitude is something we choose.
“Most people,” Abraham Lincoln said, “are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Said
Martha Washington: “I have learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery
depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances. We carry the seeds of the one or the other
with us in our minds wherever we go.”
Old-fashioned hard work is a seventh indispensable virtue. There is no substitute in life for
work. “I challenge you,” says the great basketball coach John Wooden, “to show me one single solitary
individual who achieved his or her own personal greatness without lots of hard work.” Hard work
includes initiative, diligence, goal-setting, and resourcefulness.
An eighth essential virtue is integrity. Integrity is adhering to moral principle, being faithful to
moral conscience, keeping our word, and standing up for what we believe. To have integrity is to be
“whole,” so that what we say and do in different situations is consistent rather than contradictory.
Integrity is different from honesty, which tells the truth to others. Integrity is telling the truth to oneself.
“The most dangerous form of deception,” says author Josh Billings, “is self-deception.” Self-deception
enables us to do whatever we wish and find a reason to justify our actions.
Gratitude is a ninth essential virtue. “Gratitude, like love, is not a feeling but an act of the will,”
observes writer Anne Husted Burleigh. “We choose to be thankful, just as we choose to love.”
Gratitude has been described as the secret of a happy life. It reminds us that we all drink from wells
we did not dig. It moves us to count our everyday blessings. Asked what was the biggest lesson he
learned from drifting 21 days in a life raft lost in the Pacific, the war hero Eddie Rickenbacker
answered: “That if you have all the fresh water you want to drink and all the food you want to eat, you
ought never to complain about anything.”
And above all Humility, the final essential virtue, can be considered the foundation of the whole moral life. Humility is necessary for the acquisition of the other virtues because it makes us aware of our
imperfections and leads us to try to become a better person. “Humility,” writes the educator David
Isaacs, “is recognizing both our inadequacies and abilities and pressing our abilities into service without
attracting attention or expecting applause.” “Half the harm that is done in the world,” said T. S. Eliot, “is
due to people who want to feel important.” Humility enables us to take responsibility for our faults and
failings (rather than blaming someone else), apologize for them, and seek to make amends.
According to the Dalai the ten virtuous acts spoken of in Buddhism are:
Three concern the body: one must not kill, steal, or engage in sexual misconduct.
Four others are verbal: do not lie, defame others, speak offensive words, or engage in frivolous conversation, which relates to everything that might be said under the influence of afflicting emotions.
Finally, the last three virtuous acts are of a mental nature: do not develop covetousness or malice and, finally, do not hold false or perverted views, such as the extreme view, close to nihilism, which totally denies spiritual perfection.
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