Paraprosdokians? What is that?

Once in a while you come across a word which you have never heard of before but which is full of hidden delights. Paraprodokians is one such word.

PARAPROSDOKIANS are figures of speech in which the latter part of

a sentence or phrase is surprising  or unexpected; frequently humorous.

Here is a partial list , perhaps you can add to them:

• "Take my wife – please!" —Henny Youngman

• "He was at his best when the going was good." —Alistair Cooke on the Duke of Windsor

• "There but for the grace of God — goes God." —Winston Churchill

• "If I am reading this graph correctly — I'd be very surprised." —Stephen Colbert

• "You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing—after they have tried everything else." —Winston Churchill

• "On his feet he wore...blisters." —Aristotle

• "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." —Groucho Marx

• "A modest man, who has much to be modest about." —supposedly Winston Churchill, about Clement Attlee

• "She looks as though she's been poured into her clothes, and forgot to say 'when'." —P. G. Wodehouse

• "I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don't know I'm using blanks." —Emo Philips

• "She was good as cooks go, and as cooks go she went." —Saki

• "I sleep eight hours a day and at least ten at night." —Bill Hicks

• "I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat." --Will Rogers

Here are another group that caught my eye:

 1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

 3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright

until you hear them speak.

 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

 5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

 6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..

 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting

it in a fruit salad.

 8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to

tell you why it isn't.

 9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many

is research.

 10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my

desk is a work station.

 11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

 12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of

emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

 13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

 14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the

street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

 15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a

successful man is usually another woman.

 16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

 17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a

parachute to skydive twice.

 18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

 19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so

they can't get away.

 20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

 21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

 22. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

 23. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

 24. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever

you hit the target.

 25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than

standing in a garage makes you a car.

 26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.