In praise of sisters

India has a unique festival – Rakhsa Bandhan – literally knot of protection- where a sister ties a “rakhee” around her brothers hand. The rakhi is a symbol of the purity of a relationship between a sister and brother. By it the brother pledges to protect the sister in every birth. Just as the brother is bound by a promise to protect the sister after getting a string tied onto his wrist, so also the sister prays to God for his protection. Rakhi is basically a sacred thread of protection embellished with the love and affection of a sister for her brother.

This traditional Hindu festival 'Raksha Bandhan'  has its origin about 6000 years back when Aryans created first civilization. And there are many legends which have built around this rather unique festival that celebrates the love that a brother has for his sister.

Among these legends is story of Rani Karnavati and Emperor Humayun. During the medieval era, Rajputs were fighting Muslim invasions. When Rani Karnawati, the widowed queen of the king of Chittor realised that she could in no way defend the invasion of the Sultan of Gujarat, Bahadur Shah, she sent a rakhi to Emperor Humayun. The Emperor touched by the gesture started off with his troops without wasting any time.

Some claim that this ritual even started earlier with Lord Krishna. In order to protect the good people of Dwarka, Lord Krishna killed the evil King Shishupal but was hurt during the war and left with bleeding finger. Seeing this, Draupathi had torn a strip of cloth from her sari and tied it around his wrist to stop the bleeding. Lord Krishna, realizing her affections and concern about him, declared himself bounded by her sisterly love. He promised her to repay this debt whenever she needed in future and he did when she was being dishonored and he made sure that the saree she wore was endless.

This day epitomizes the love between a sister and her brothers and the sacred thread is proof of this lifelong bond. History is replete with records where women have invoked this rakhee and where men- sometimes even of different religion and origin but who have become “ dharma bhais” or brothers in spirit, have rushed to the help of their sisters.

In modern days, however, the role of the sister has turned – now it is they who have become the protectors of their brothers. While traditionally, sisters adore their older brothers, and remain their lifelong cheerleaders, they dote on their younger brothers. It is to her that younger siblings repair for advice and consolation in times of trouble. She is the first port of call when things become tense in the household and parental pressures mount for when mom and dad don't understand, a sister always will. 
An older sister is a friend and defender - a listener, conspirator, a counsellor and a sharer of delights.  And sorrows too. And when parents are no longer around, it is often she who becomes the glue that holds the family together. She is no longer the one asking for aid and help, instead she has become the dispenser of succor and lifelong affection and support for her brothers.

Some of us are blessed to have such sisters as well as the counterparts of “dharma bhais”, the “ sisters in spirit”. I have come to increasingly appreciate and value the affection that underlie these relationships. A sibling is after all the keeper of one's true identity, the only person with the keys to one's unfettered, more fundamental self.  The pure love and concern that, in ways subtle and unsubtle, tie the siblings together over their lifetimes, is one to be carefully fostered for our brothers and sisters are there with us from the dawn of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk.  She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities.  She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway.  She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark.  She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink. It is the most nurturing of relationships but the role of sisters is often left unsung and under appreciated. And it should not.

In recent years, I have been the lucky recipient of this affection from many – from some who chide me when I do not stay with them during my visits to their hometown, to others who provided me a with a safe haven after a tense encounter with the terrorists and made sure it remained peaceful and calm. Or one who regularly scolds me on not staying with her, once irately observing that she would be happy to send me a hotel bill if it would help overcome my old fashioned values of not burdening married younger sisters. Another who constantly sends me clippings of the latest developments in science to cure my various ills, And another who took over my medical support when I fell sick organizing doctors medicines hospitals with a quiet efficiency and loving concern;  to another who cheerfully took leave of her legal practice to massage my aching muscles at a time when my wife was at her wits end in tending to my troubles.

There is a sweetness in these relationships that is hard to capture in simple words. I often ask how do people make it through life without a sister? For sisters are blossoms in the garden of life. There's no other love like their love for a brother. A love that is gentle, calm and full of affection- it is a relationship like none other. It surprises me that this sisterly love has not found a day for it to be honored. Of course, we need not a day but the whole year to properly thank those who provide us with such love and comfort. But a day would at least be a start.

Perhaps a silver rakhee day where brother can tie a gold or silver bracelet around their sisters wrists symbolizing the relationship?