When my kids were young, we were used to disciplining them in the old fashiioned ways. In the early years, it is " do what i tell you to ", which then becomes " because I say so" to cut off arguments that you may not win. In the teen age years when the arguments turn into debates, we perfected a different version of " because I say so". This relied on unknown virtual authority figures- in our case it was Inspector Should and Dr Day!
The Inspector was given mystical powers and his word was law which brooked no questions. That was the way it was and that was the way it was going to remain if the Inspector had his way. Dr Day was a more logical- at least apparently- because he carried implicitly the verdict of the market place on his shoulders.
" Why should we do this?" would come the query from our teens.
" Because they say ( or Dr Day in our parlance) that this is the right way." would be the answer. It was better to personalize it than to say "because they say so" whoever 'they" may be!
Many argue that most cultures have their own authority contained in the bible, gita, ramayan or the torah. Unfortunately they have little to offer when it comes to practical issues that confront parents like when their children say: "Why should I eat spinach?" or "My curfew is too strict!" or "Why cant I go out like others do?"
There is an interesting twist in different cultures too. In India for a very long time, the British were supposed to have the last word on any issue- from table manners to relationships. The " white man" was automatically expected to know more about the world and its mores than the poor natives. Three hundred years of domination had left its mark in subtle and unsubtle ways which is only now being shrugged off.
In other cultures not subject to colonial domination there are other authority figures. In Vietnam it is usually what othe Vietnamese think and what the ancients have handed down. They look with suspicion on external remedies and adopt them only after great persuasion and much evidence. I worked for eight years with a Vietnamese colleauges whose first answer to any idea or suggestion of change was invariably "No". He always insisted that there was a right way and a wrong way and then there was a Vietnamese way! And you knew which was the way he wanted to go!
The internet has however scrambed everything. Now the reply to any difficult question is " why dont you look it up on the internet". The problem is that the internet now has replies of over 10,000 for even the simplest queries all of which very often contradict each other.
So we are really back to square one -
" Because I say so" or " Dr Day says so"!
The Inspector was given mystical powers and his word was law which brooked no questions. That was the way it was and that was the way it was going to remain if the Inspector had his way. Dr Day was a more logical- at least apparently- because he carried implicitly the verdict of the market place on his shoulders.
" Why should we do this?" would come the query from our teens.
" Because they say ( or Dr Day in our parlance) that this is the right way." would be the answer. It was better to personalize it than to say "because they say so" whoever 'they" may be!
Many argue that most cultures have their own authority contained in the bible, gita, ramayan or the torah. Unfortunately they have little to offer when it comes to practical issues that confront parents like when their children say: "Why should I eat spinach?" or "My curfew is too strict!" or "Why cant I go out like others do?"
There is an interesting twist in different cultures too. In India for a very long time, the British were supposed to have the last word on any issue- from table manners to relationships. The " white man" was automatically expected to know more about the world and its mores than the poor natives. Three hundred years of domination had left its mark in subtle and unsubtle ways which is only now being shrugged off.
In other cultures not subject to colonial domination there are other authority figures. In Vietnam it is usually what othe Vietnamese think and what the ancients have handed down. They look with suspicion on external remedies and adopt them only after great persuasion and much evidence. I worked for eight years with a Vietnamese colleauges whose first answer to any idea or suggestion of change was invariably "No". He always insisted that there was a right way and a wrong way and then there was a Vietnamese way! And you knew which was the way he wanted to go!
The internet has however scrambed everything. Now the reply to any difficult question is " why dont you look it up on the internet". The problem is that the internet now has replies of over 10,000 for even the simplest queries all of which very often contradict each other.
So we are really back to square one -
" Because I say so" or " Dr Day says so"!
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