Preparations for the traditional Vietnamese wedding first begins by choosing a date and time for the marriage ceremony. This is decided by a Buddhist monk, Spiritual leader, or, if you can believe it in a communist country, a fortune teller.
The wedding itself consists of an extensive set of ceremonies: asking permission to receive the bride, receiving the bride at her house, and bringing the bride to the groom's house. At the end of the ceremonies, there is an elaborate wedding reception for the two families and guests.
Before the wedding day, the groom's family would make a trip to the bride's home with a gift of betel nuts to officially ask permission to receive the bride. At this time, the bride's family would confirm the wedding and further proceedings would take place.
On the morning of a wedding in Vietnam, the groom's mother visits the bride's family and offers them two gifts. The first is a special plant, that represents respect, and the second is pink chalk, which is the color of happiness.
On the day of the wedding itself, the procession of the groom's family is led in specific order. The first person would be the representative of the groom's house followed by the groom's father, the groom, then the rest of his family and close friends. In the past, the groom's mother might not take part in the procession as a sign that she would not be a threat to the future bride; she would even "hide" for a short period upon the bride's welcoming to the groom's home. However, this practice has long been abandoned. The number of people participating in the groom's procession varies but is usually restricted to a smaller number (20 or so) to make it easier on the bride's family, which must receive all the guests.
In the procession, the groom, his family and friends bear elaborately decorated lacquer boxes, covered in red cloth. Inside these boxes are gifts representing the wealth that the groom's family will bring to the bride's family. Gifts are betel, fruit, cakes, a roast pig, fabric, and an abundance of jewelry for the bride. Usually, the number of gift boxes varies between 6 or 8, but never 7 or 9 since it is seen as bad luck. The gifts are covered by the red color paper or cloth. In Vietnamese beliefs, the odd number and the red color will bring luck to the young couple.
Upon arriving at the bride's home, the procession lights fireworks to alert the bride's family, who then lights its own round of firecrackers to welcome the groom's procession. The groom's family would introduce themselves and ask permission for their son to marry his bride. The Master of the Ceremony (usually a respected person among the bride's relatives) instructs the bride's parents to present their daughter. The bride then follows her parents out. She is in Vietnamese traditional wedding Ao Dai, which is usually in red. The wedding ceremony starts in front of the altar. The bride and the groom would kneel down and pray, asking their ancestors' permission to be married, also asking for blessing on their family-to-be. The couple then turns around and bow down to the bride's parents to say thank for raising and protecting her since birth. They then bow their head to each other, which means to show their gratitude and respect toward their soon-to-be husband or wife. The Master of the Ceremony would gave the wedding couple advices on starting a new family. The groom and the bride's parents would take turn to share their experience and give blessing. The groom and the bride then exchange their wedding rings. The parents will give the newly wedded value gifts such as golden bracelets, ear rings, necklace.
A formal tea and candle ceremony along with speeches follows. While tea has always been an essential part of Vietnamese life,the Vietnamese tea culture is not as complex or ritually rigid as its counterparts in China, Japan or Korea. The bride and groom, in front of all their guests, will serve tea (or wine) to their parents. Each parent will then give advice about marriage and family to the couple. A candle ceremony will follow, symbolizing the joining of the bride and groom and the joining of the two families. The groom's gift boxes filled with jewelry will be opened by the groom's mother, who will then put each piece on the bride for good fortune.
As the procession arrives back at the groom's house, the groom's family members that did not take part in the procession but remained at home will light firecrackers in celebration. The newlyweds will be brought to the groom's ancestor altar, where another ceremony takes place and the bride is introduced to the groom's relatives. Finally, the bride is brought to the couple's room and shown their marriage bed.
Following the ceremony at the groom's house, all of the bride and groom's family and friends are invited to a reception that traditionally takes place at the groom's house. The number of guests in attendance at these modern-day receptions is large, usually in the hundreds. Elaborate 7 to 10 course meals are served, often starting with cold platters then followed by hot dishes such as seasoned lobster, seafood hot pot, and other Vietnamese delicacies. Guests are expected to bring gifts, and it is traditionally in the form of money in an envelopes usually between $100–$200 USD. Immediate family, usually gives more money to the bride and groom. At one point during the reception, the bride and groom will go from table-to-table to thank guests for their blessings and sometimes collect the envelopes. Most couples however leave a box at the sign-in table for guests to drop in their envelopes and cards. In modern weddings, brides usually change into three different gowns during the reception. Her dresses are usually composed of the Western white wedding gown, a second Western dress to be worn at the end of the evening during the dancing, and a third traditional Áo dài to be worn during the traditional table visits to personally thank the guests for coming.
Traditional and modern symbols of marriage are often featured during Vietnamese marriage ceremonies as decorations on the wedding umbrellas, lacquer gift boxes (or the red cloth that covers them), or even the decorations in the homes of both the bride and groom. They usually include lanterns, doves, initials of the couple, among other things. However, one symbol that is indispensable is the character 囍 and the words "song hỷ." This phrase also appears means “double happiness” and shows the joy for the both families.
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