Old Age Blues

Everyone ages. Only the speed and rate of decline varies. It is the inevitable path that Shakespeare mentions in the seven stages of life while Hinduism believes human life is comprises just four stages : "Brahmacharya" or the Student Stage, "Grihastha" or the Householder Stage, "Vanaprastha" or the Hermit Stage and finally the Fourth Ashrama - "Sannyasa" or the Wandering Ascetic Stage. Old age for most seems to begin when his duty as a householder comes to an end: he has become a grandfather; his children are grown up, and have established lives of their own. At this age, according to Hindu scriptures, a man should renounce all physical, material and sexual pleasures, retire from his social and professional life, leave his home, and go to live in a forest hut, spending his time in prayers. In the next stage of sanyassa, he becomes the Wandering Recluse when he is totally devoted to God with no home, no attachments and he has renounced all desires, fears and hopes, duties and responsibilities.

But despite all this literature, the fact is old age still seems to come as a surprise to most people when it touches them. My friends often say that old age is stealing upon them faster than they expected. What they are saying is that mentally they still feel young even when their bodies are telling them differently.

People handle aging differently. Everybody seems to be unhappy about getting old.

Cicero said “there are four reasons for old age being thought unhappy: First, that it withdraws us from active employments; second, that it enfeebles the body; third, that it deprives us of nearly all physical pleasures; fourth, that it is the next step to death.” He then proceeds to give his assessment in exquisite detail of how to handle these travails.

In reality the great affairs of life are not performed by physical strength, or activity, or nimbleness of body, but by deliberation, character, and expression of opinion. Of these old age is not only not deprived, but, as a rule, has them in a greater degree. There is therefore nothing in the arguments of those who say that old age means not taking part in public business. If anything, most cultures value old age and the wisdom it portents, and are more than willing to let them be the leaders. In India, the two major contenders for the post of the prime minister are Manmohan Singh who is 76 and LK Advani who is 82 and many people yearn for Vajaypee who is 81! And this in a country where the average age is less than 35. So those that say that old men should withdraw from public life are like men who say that a steersman does nothing in sailing a ship, because, while some of the crew are climbing the masts, others hurrying up and down the gangways, others pumping out the bilge water, he sits quietly in the stern holding the tiller. It is true that he cannot do what young men can; nevertheless he can do what is much more important and better.

Many people miss the bodily strength of a young man. They yearn for the time they could run the marathon or play tennis. But the course of life is fixed, and nature admits of its being run but in one way, and only once; and to each part of our life there is something specially seasonable; so that the feebleness of children, as well as the high spirit of youth, the soberness of maturer years, and the ripe wisdom of old age—all have a certain natural advantage which should be secured in its proper season. One can bewail the ravages of time as they inflict the body as so many do but with little effect, or one can fight them as some do by compelling the body to undertake tasks beyond its ken( witness the tennis player who continues to play singles before collapsing) or one can accept the new limitations and work within them ( say with walking sticks and wheelchairs). You can use what you have, and combined with the wisdom of your years, make the most of what you do have left.

The third charge against old age is that it lacks the pleasures of the senses- the pleasures of the table, the heaped up board, the rapid passing of the wine-cup. But then, it is also free from headache, disordered digestion, broken sleep and hangovers. But if we must grant pleasure something, since we do not find it easy to resist its charms—for Plato, with happy inspiration, calls pleasure "vice's bait," because of course men are caught by it as fish by a hook—yet, although old age has to abstain from extravagant banquets, it is still capable of enjoying modest festivities. As Cicero notes “I am thankful to old age, which has increased my avidity for conversation, while it has removed that for eating and drinking”.

There remains the fourth reason, which more than anything else appears to torment men of my age and keep them in a flutter—the nearness of death. Again Cicero puts all this in perspective when he says” realize that death is common to every time of life. Yes, you will say; but a young man expects to live long; an old man cannot expect to do so. An old man has nothing even to hope. Ah, but it is just there that he is in a better position than a young man, since what the latter only hopes. he has obtained. The one wishes to live long; the other has lived long. For die we certainly must and that too without being certain whether it may not be this very day. As death, therefore, is hanging over our head every hour, how can a man ever be unshaken in soul if he fears it?”

The fact is that at any stage of life, we have a choice to make regarding the use of the time and talent still available to us, although both are certainly reduced in quantity and quality. It was during their "sunset strolls" that Michelangelo, at 88, was designing the monumental dome of Saint Peter's Basilica; Stradivarius, in his nineties, produced two of his most famous violins; and Verdi, when an octogenarian, composed the opera "Falstaff." Mary Baker Eddy founded the Christian Science Monitor at 87; Frank Lloyd Wright was 91 when he designed the Guggenheim Museum in NYC; business guru Peter Drucker wrote "Management Challenges For The 21st Century" when he was 89; George Burns was still delighting audiences well into his nineties; Impresario George Abbott, after passing the century mark, was still advising the latest crop of theatrical entrepreneurs; and Dr. Seuss was 82 years young when he penned "You're Only Old Once."

While many of us will not be able to reach the horizons of these old people, but there are many examples of people around us who have conquered the old age blues. While many are content to spend their time with family and friends, there are others who seize on old age for starting completely new endeavors. And those who have conquered the old age blues have a lot to teach us.

I was looking for those who still had a spring in their steps and a glint in their eyes. I invariably found them among whose despite their age were deeply immersed in new ventures—writing a book, publishing their poetry for the first time, volunteering in and creating new NGO’s, starting computer workshops in rural areas, mobilizing schools in urban slums, managing old age homes and even among those who continued to be outraged at the injustices of life around them. It seems that of all the misfortunes that can possibly befall anyone, none is more deadly than purposelessness - not having something meaningful and rewarding to do during one's waking hours.

Finally what did I learn about their conquest of the old age blues? One, they even while they suffered physically as most of us do as we age, they rarely talked or bemoaned their physical ailments; while they were proud of their past achievements, they rarely dwelt overmuch on them; while they regretted the loss of sensory delights of youth, they compensated the quantity of the past with the quality of the present; they did not shy away from discussing death but once they had taken care of all of its implications on their loved ones, they rarely mentioned it again. But what consumed them all was their latest passion – be it writing, teaching, volunteering, and learning the latest in science and technology. Contrary to all religious precepts about detachment in old age, these were people who were full of passion and passionate intensity. None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm

They were also the people who wanted “to die young at a ripe old age”.