In general, happy moods have easy explanations – we know why we’re elated. But a bad mood often seems to arrive out of the blue, a gloomy weather pattern that settles in from everywhere all at once. All of a sudden, we find ourselves pissed off without a good reason, which only makes us more pissed off.
But what causes these bad moods? Why do we sometimes slip into angry fits and melancholy torpors? Have you ever wondered why you can make good choices for your health throughout most of the day only to crash and burn later by skipping the gym and having a second dessert? Or why you might be able to control your emotions and how you communicate them earlier in the day, but later feel more out of control or unable to express things as smoothly?
According to Jonah Lehrer, in an interesting article on “ where bad moods come from”, the standard theory of bad moods is rooted in a psychological quirk known as ego depletion or ED. I hesitate to use ED as an acronym mainly because to viewers of late night TV in the U.S, ED stands for erectile dysfunction- which of course leads to many a bad mood in its own right. No, we are talking about a different concept altogether.
The basic idea behind ego depletion seems to be that self-control and willpower are limited cognitive resources. As a result, when we overexert ourselves in one domain – say, when we’re on a strict diet, or focused on a difficult task for hours at work – we have fewer resources left over to exert self-control in other domains. This helps explain why, after a long day at the office, we’re more likely to indulge in a pint of ice cream, or eat one too many slices of pizza. A tired brain, preoccupied with its problems, is going to struggle to resist what it wants, even when what it wants isn’t what we need.
It seems that ego depletion wears out over time. According to the theory is that since we have a finite pool of resources (energy) that allows us to regulate our emotions, thoughts, choices, and behavior, and that like a muscle being used, it wears out with use. So if your bicep was your ability to self-regulate (make good decisions, keep your cool, etc), and you did a set of curls, the 12th curl would be more difficult than the first. Just like the first time passing up a cupcake is more difficult than the 12th in one day (if it would even take that long before you would just eat one). To make the picture even more bleak, there are a few things that start us off with even less of these resources to begin with, including lack of sleep in the preceding night, experiencing fatigue, being hungry, having some kind of negative emotions (anger, sadness, jealousy, etc), or just not being very motivated. So it is easier to drift into a bad mood.
When we push our mind too hard, asking it to refrain from carbs and cigarettes, we struggle to avoid the negative thoughts and emotions that lead to sour moods. Consider this 2007 study: The scientists told subjects to refrain from eating a tempting chocolate donut for a few minutes. Then, they insulted these poor (and probably hungry) experimental volunteers. Not surprisingly, those who had successfully resisted the donut were more likely to get aggressive in response to the insult. Or look at the medical literature, in which people on diets are typically “irritable and aggressive.” (This is the so-called cranky dieter effect.) Although we’d like to be happy and polite, those positive moods take cognitive work, and our brain is too tired to care. We lose our temper because we lack the willpower to swallow our angry words.
This theory offers a great explanation for why some things may be difficult to do later in the day than earlier. For example, most couples end up having their biggest fights at the end of the day. One explanation is that it is the only time they see each other, but it is often much more than that. Having a conflict later in the day means that each partner is likely in a state of ego depletion (they have made countless decisions over the day, may be fatigued, and are then experiencing negative emotions), making the chance of anything going well very small.
Second, it explains why sustaining efforts to make changes in our lives is difficult. When the task we are doing requires more effort, our resources are used up quicker. For example, if you are trying to make a very difficult and large change, it is like picking up a heavier weight to do your bicep curls. At your best you could do a few before you wore out.
Scientists believe they may have cracked the secret of why some people are always in a bad mood. They have found that people who are regularly grumpy have an overactive area in their brains. Scans of healthy people's brains show that those who report having been in a bad mood recently have increased activity in a region of the brain called the ventromedial prefrontal cortex which lies an inch or two behind the right eye in right-handed people and has been linked with emotions in other studies. Psychologist David Zald, of Vanderbilt University in Nashville, who led the study, said: "Such a connection does make sense because animal studies show that this region of the brain controls heart rate, breathing, stomach acidity levels, sweating and similar autonomous functions that have a close connection to mood."
There are, however, a few things we can do to help minimize the experience of ego depletion.
1. Get enough sleep. If you are starting off with less ability to self-regulate because you aren't sleeping enough, then this can be the best place to start.
2. Understand how it works in your life: Take a look at how ego depletion may occur with you and get a feel for how you can notice when you are experiencing it.
3. Prepare: If you are able to know that there are certain times of the day that you will need to be on your game, or that you will be entering a period of time of increased stress, then make a mental note of that ahead of time. This helps us "conserve" some of our resources.
4. HALT: This concept is nothing new to people involved in 12-step programs. For years, the acronym HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) has been used to indicate being at risk for relapse. Stopping what you are doing when you recognize that you are about to make a poor decision takes some energy, but scraping some resources together at those moments can really help you avoid some big consequences.
5. Be Compassionate to Yourself: We sometimes have a tendency to compound our emotional strain when we become disappointed and angry with ourselves for falling into the ego depletion trap. If this is effective in getting you back on track then great, but for most of us it just makes us feel worse and makes it even harder.
Finally, confronting a bad mood, try letting yourself off the hook if this happens, you are human after all, and this is just a fact of normal human life.